Tonight, on Border Security

We look into the troubling increase in Bunny Smugglers, and the lengths that some bunnymules will go to bring illegal bunnies into the country.

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At least the Granny Square Dress was forgiving

because this sure as shootin’ aint!

I guess we all have days like this

Strange days indeed.. (most peculiar Mama…)

Always something happening and nothing going on.

I mean – we all get into a zone whilst we’re crocheting.  You know what I mean? when you forget what you’re really trying to accomplish? and the pea green next to pumkin orange seems to be lacking a hit of cherry to make it complete?

In my case, you wake up with a scarf that weighs as much as an afghan and a Christening Gown with a petticoat that is now edged by 11 rows of alternating HDCs and Puff stitches.  If you ever want to use up yarn, may I recommend this as a stitch pattern because I now have over 3 kilometres of 2ply in very close formation.

But in both cases I went through the darkness of a  Yarn-induced Creative Whirlpool and came out on the other side which would explain what’s happened here:

Not sure if this is a little yellow idol north of Kathmandu…

Or just a UFO over New York – I wouldn’t be too surprised.

But generally there’s a high level of WTF happening here!

Sadly, Bambi turned to a life of Crime

And adopted a cunning disguise during his Bank Hold Up spree.

Bikini or Not? (Low Work Safe Factor)

Today’s item *may* be a bikini, in the same way that I *may* be considered a chef.

The rampant nature of crochet has seen it spread into swimwear,

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 or posing-in-the-sunwear,

 to the point some starlets have become confused about the place of the pineapple swimsuit

 

and taken it out for the evening.

I don’t know who Blu Cantrell is, but she appears to be trying to get some exposure here.

In the chain (get it??) of crocheted poolside wear, comes something purporting to be a

“bikini”

(and I’m being careful, unless the Unnecessary Quotation Marks people come to get me)

and we end up with something that I can only loosely describe as a nipple tether.

 

I’m not a member of the Breastapo, but…. hrm.

And I am  really hoping there’s some motif applicated to the bottom half and that the model isn’t that in need of planned maintenance.

If you can’t bribe them

Terrify them! or  How to get your Model to pose for a shoot when it’s all Fug.

The response I’ve always had to those who complain about the writing of a snark blog is that “No-one has a gun to your head, forcing you to read it.”

  True – look around, see?  No masked crocheter holding a .45 to your head threatening to redecorate the wall in an interesting new colour called “Hint of Brain”. 

You no like, you can go up to the left to the back button or up to the right to the search window and… look for something else.

If you’re a model and you’ve been presented with something less than stellar to wear perhaps the circumstances maybe different, depending on how much you need the next pair of Christin Louboutins.

What technique this photographer used – not sure but I’m intrigued as to what made this the best that the art director had to use…

 

I love the Russian crochet patterns as much as the next deranged wool-pig, but…..

the belt that looks like you’ve been eviscerated… not so much.

Husbands and Wives – Joint hobbies don’t always work…

I can see it as being a great idea, to  open new lines of communication, bring you both closer together, and eventually: rediscover each other,

But….

Some hobbies aren’t meant to be shared.         Or Mixed.

Crochet and the Art of Skoda Maintenance?

Mr Clarkson, Hammo and Captain Slow would be p’ing themselves right now….

Or making a racist joke about another country which is guaranteed to get them on the front pages around the world.

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