because this sure as shootin’ aint!
08 Feb 2011 Leave a comment
in Crochet, Crochet Designs, Crocheted Dolls Tags: crafts, Crochet, crochet designs, crochet disasters, crochet dolls, crochet patterns, crochet stitches, crocheted clothing, crocheting, fashion, fug, fugly crochet, funnies, handicrafts, jane austen, omg, the bronte sisters, ugly crochet, What Not To Crochet, yarn
To the level of corruption that infests the Gentle World of Crochet?
As those who have joined us in all previous incarnations, as we have struggled through life together, cannot help bu tbe aware of the high regard I hold for Regency literature, especially the works of Miss Jane Austen and collectively, whilst still individually: The Brontё Sisters. In crochet as in life, this regard continues and I was once outbid for a Jane Austen Shawl pattern on eBay; at a fairly pausemaking amount. I was willing to forego basic necessities for that pattern. But Alas, it was not be and five years of fruitless searching have not yet seen it come round again.
Where I was more successful was the purchase of a great many Bed Doll patterns, I detest Barbies en masse however I adore crochet where you can be a bit clever and add extra bits to catch a judge’s eye.
Armed with all the above driving forces, whilst trawling through a store that enables vintage pattern buying (though – not entirely convinced that 2002 counts as ‘vintage’) I did espy something that made me pause…
I would presume that “Dinner at Netherfield” allows the avoidance of copyright issues from Miss Austen’s estate, those who may also being taking umbrage at the misspelling!
I found myself spending a great deal too much time (i.e. Any!) trying to work out who our Plastic Twosome are supposed to be, or are they just trying to crash the party?
05 Feb 2011 2 Comments
in Clothing Designs for Women, Crochet, Crochet Designs Tags: bikinis, crafts, Crochet, crochet art, crochet bikinis, crochet designs, crochet disasters, crochet patterns, crochet simwear, crochet stitches, crochet underwear, crocheted clothing, crocheting, fug, fugly crochet, funnies, handicrafts, humour, omg, thread crochet, ugly crochet, weird crochet, What Not To Crochet
Today’s item *may* be a bikini, in the same way that I *may* be considered a chef.
The rampant nature of crochet has seen it spread into swimwear,
to the point some starlets have become confused about the place of the pineapple swimsuit
and taken it out for the evening.
I don’t know who Blu Cantrell is, but she appears to be trying to get some exposure here.
In the chain (get it??) of crocheted poolside wear, comes something purporting to be a
(and I’m being careful, unless the Unnecessary Quotation Marks people come to get me)
and we end up with something that I can only loosely describe as a nipple tether.
I’m not a member of the Breastapo, but…. hrm.
And I am really hoping there’s some motif applicated to the bottom half and that the model isn’t that in need of planned maintenance.
04 Feb 2011 2 Comments
in Clothing Designs for Women, Crochet Tags: crafts, Crochet, crochet art, crochet designs, crochet disasters, crochet patterns, crochet stitches, crocheted clothing, crocheted dresses, crocheting, duplet Crochet patterns, fashion, fug, fugly crochet, handicrafts, humour, omg, thread crochet, ugly crochet, weird crochet, What Not To Crochet, yarn
Terrify them! or How to get your Model to pose for a shoot when it’s all Fug.
The response I’ve always had to those who complain about the writing of a snark blog is that “No-one has a gun to your head, forcing you to read it.”
True – look around, see? No masked crocheter holding a .45 to your head threatening to redecorate the wall in an interesting new colour called “Hint of Brain”.
You no like, you can go up to the left to the back button or up to the right to the search window and… look for something else.
If you’re a model and you’ve been presented with something less than stellar to wear perhaps the circumstances maybe different, depending on how much you need the next pair of Christin Louboutins.
What technique this photographer used – not sure but I’m intrigued as to what made this the best that the art director had to use…
I love the Russian crochet patterns as much as the next deranged wool-pig, but…..
the belt that looks like you’ve been eviscerated… not so much.
01 Feb 2011 3 Comments
in Children, Crochet, Crochet Designs Tags: christmas crochet, crafts, Crochet, crochet art, crochet designs, crochet disasters, crochet patterns, crochet paytterns, crocheted clothing, crocheting, fashion, fug, fugly crochet, funnies, handicrafts, humour, omg, ugly crochet, weird crochet, What Not To Crochet, yarn
Maybe this photographer hasn’t learnt the magic trick
Or that hat is freakin’ the baby out as much as it is me.
27 Jan 2011 3 Comments
in Amigurumi, Crocheted Dolls Tags: amigurumi, crafts, Crochet, crochet art, crochet designs, crochet dolls, crochet patterns, crochet paytterns, crocheted clothing, crocheting, fug, fugly crochet, funnies, handicrafts, humour, omg, ugly crochet, weird crochet, What Not To Crochet
Australia Day, something akin to Independence Day in the US, Canada Day in Canada and so on. The reason this post is the day after, well… there’s only so much Australian
beer culture one can absorb and have time to do anything else.
This was one of the hottest ever days, coming after the flooding in Queensland and Victoria; driving many people indoors. I found a small herd of our favourite National Icon lounging around on my farm, which prompts today’s Misstitched Post.
I do not expect Crocheted articles to be factually accurate, I do expect them to be fit for purpose, not garishly horrible and hopefully: well-made. I also.. would like to be able to have a reasonable go at being able to recognise who/what they are.
Because just having a pouch doesn’t cut it for entry into Marsupial land.
And whilst my so-called West Highland White prefers to get around in shades of green…. Yeah no.
17 Jan 2011 1 Comment
in Clothing Designs for Women, Crochet, Crochet Designs Tags: crafts, Crochet, crochet designs, crochet patterns, crocheted clothing, crocheting, fashion, fug, fugly crochet, funnies, handicrafts, humour, omg, Remodelled Crochet, ugly crochet, weird crochet, What Not To Crochet
Welcome to 2011, and I apologise for the short break in communications. For those of you who are familiar with Australia, and <WARNING – HORRIBLE MUSAK> a poem by a homesick schoolgirl, mine is a country of droughts and… flooding rains.
We’re in the second at present, and donations to those 28,000 who have lost their homes can be made through:
And the concept of loss brings me firmly to today’s Crocheted Monstrosity. I run a continual battle with The Handbag That Eats Keys and so I felt, at a visceral level, for the peson who has obviously, obviously, lost her keys, lipstick and possibly: a small child to this example of why acrylic yarn and prescriptions should not be combined.