Husbands and Wives – Joint hobbies don’t always work…

I can see it as being a great idea, to  open new lines of communication, bring you both closer together, and eventually: rediscover each other,

But….

Some hobbies aren’t meant to be shared.         Or Mixed.

Crochet and the Art of Skoda Maintenance?

Mr Clarkson, Hammo and Captain Slow would be p’ing themselves right now….

Or making a racist joke about another country which is guaranteed to get them on the front pages around the world.

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Please say a prayer tonight for Queenslanders

tonight for them will be bad, but tomorrow will be beyond imagining.

Through my own blog: Safety Boots and Crochet as well What Not To Crochet and now Misstitched, I’ve had the privelege of speaking with thousands of people.  Regular readers and those who just drop in.

Tonight, Australia, and Queensland is facing a storm larger than Hurricane Katrina and there is nothing more that can be done until it is over.  If you have a spare moment in your prayers, please think on those in Queensland who are hunkered down in shelters waiting for Tropical Cyclone Yasi to pass by.

The Dread Horror – The Granny Square Dress

Do you remember – when she, that alabaster skinned Goddess of the screen, Cate Blanchett, shocked us all by wearing THAT dress – that monstrosity of Granny Squares?

In my wild What Not to Crochet days.. it heralded a rush of nausea and comments from around the world wondering whose couch she’d ripped that from??

No – none of us could believe it.. Neither by the looks of it can  Sam Neill aka Agent Smith of The Matrix.  Maybe he can’t classify the species…. and he’s recognised that Granny Squares are a a virus. Granny Squares are a disease, a cancer of Crochet… 

 

But in our quest to bring to you the Fug in the World of Weird Crochet, Revelation dawned – We had seen this before.

Yes – I had picked this as being worse than being Naked in a crowd….

Romance was born, in their 2009 Show decided to be… erm, revolutionary in crochet.

The crochet equivalent of brain freeze

What was of more concern was that another designer – Paul Smith did The Dress AGAIN… and… it seems trendy slings for those with fractured forearms.  Noting the carpal tunnel damaging nature of excessive crochet.. maybe there is some practicality here….

But there is still no excuse (or originality !) here

But true to historical and fashionical trends, where one designer introduces something revolutionary, then  others pick it up and crochet appears in the collections of eight different designers and then it filters down through the department stores and trickles on down into some dump bin….

And… if you have a burning desire to look like Cate Blanchett in some small way (and you can’t afford the $300 a pop SK-II product range) We now have the solution…. 

I weep for the future…..

 

Anne Geddes’ Babies Always Smile….

Maybe this photographer hasn’t learnt the magic trick

Or that hat is freakin’ the baby out as much as it is me.

Decoration or Infestation?

There is an element of ZOMG! Zats KEY-oooot! here but that sentiment is rather overwhelmed by a compulsion to get some kind of delousing (or demonkeying) spray as well.

The War of the Worlds elements of the marching Ladybugs versus (to one side) Mr Footless Droopear the bunny and to the west, Lord Cra-Z Eyes the Monkey with his henchman, the Rainbow Serpent.

Seriously – this is an example of less is most definitely more, with the line between cute and weird being somewhere behind the Giant Ladybug.

Yarn bombing – There’s a line, you guys!

The phenomenomenomenom (ba-bah-bah) of Yarn-bombing is knitted and crocheted pieces surreptititously wrapped around public features like trees and statues by guerilla knitters and crocheters.

                            

And has been around for a while.

  My last personal spotting of a yarn-bomb was in Wellington, New Zealand, around the neck of John Plimmer’s dog. I tried to get a photo but as Wellington rivals Chicago for being known as the Windy City, I was blown somewhere towards Auckland before getting my camera out.  When in Wellington, we choose to stay at the Travelodge, and eat at the Balti House Indian Restaurant.  Try the Butter Chicken.

Covering items with crochet has been taken to artistic levels, and with a nod to those of you who pressgang doiles into service in dresses, with the result being a piano that looks like it’s had a visit from a frustrated Jack Frost or She-lob in an artistic mood…

17_vjl2J_58

That’s all fine and good, and the piano isn’t left wondering why this has happened to him.  Unlike our case in point for the day.

Guys – who the hell yarn-bombed the tortoise????

If you only knew one crochet stitch

what could you make?

The absolute manic obsession some have for washcloths would probably be the answer

not pictured: washing

Ok.. sure. Whatever waters your flowers.

I’d like to take a moment to point something out about the above before we head to an example of Boredom in Crochet.  Those washcloths have a) colour and b) texture.

See unlike knitting, where all you have is a knit stitch and a purl stitch, Crocheters have a great deal more latitude. Yes, the beloved Yarn Harlot may turn out some gorgeous work, and has done incredible things with Knitters without Borders but even she (and Debbie Bliss and Jean Greenhowe) are limited to just.. knit and purl.

Crocheters – not withstanding which terminology is used, we have a wealth of stitches that can be used.  And that’s before we even get into stitch Patterns!

Shawshank fans may wonder if there's a hook hidden away inside.
Redemption lies within

Single Crochet, that lovely Half Double Crochet. Double Crochet, Treble Crochet and beyond.

So… armed with even the most uninspiring of yarns, and being forced, yes – perhaps at gunpoint, to use only one stitch from the array at our disposal,  what would YOU come up with?

Because that is my only explanation for how today’s Misstitched item has come about. 

I hesitate to refer to it as ugly – because it has no feature to latch on to, except being a) white and b) enormous and c) without character at all.

This is not a crochet disaster, because that would imply clashing colours, a train wreck of features and generally : a crocheted casualty section. this… looks more like a repurposed hospital blanket.

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