A lesson in Euphemisms

A euphemism is that which you say when the words congesting at the back of your throat are likely to be a) explicit, b) offensive and c) quite possibly actionable.

Euphemisms are frequently employed to alert others to the presence of some less quick on the uptake than the average budgie, someone who lacks the imagination God gave to a pistachio nut or the fact that after the last Office party that the girl from reception engaged a client-server network portal in the first aid room.

The opportunity also exists for you to infer that someone’s sanity may be out for a walk by suggesting that they’re a few ants (and quite possibly: picnic rug, wicker basket, cheery yellow plastic flatware and the clear handled cutlery) short of a picnic.

In the crafty world, Euphemisms come in quite handy to express admiration of an undeserving article.  Wow is useful, “It’s so interesting” a stalwart standby and then you could enter into some speculation:  “That must have taken you ages?” in order to avoid revealing that you’re wondering if this would count as sufficient grounds for a 72 hour hold.

In praising this article of Dubious Crocheted Merit, which resembles nothing so much as a crocheted marching band costume, I can find very little of the single entendre variety to say except “neat stitchwork!”

If anyone can think of an occaison to wear any if not all of these items – dying to know!!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Sherry
    Nov 29, 2010 @ 13:25:13

    Damn! What huge feet! Where to wear it? Um, pride parade? If you’re going to spend the money on the yarn and waste all that time to make the fugly thing you might as well be proud of it. I like the air holes 🙂


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